Torn
by Hikaru Morinaga
Summary: Eighth: Why can't I remember anything about my past? And every time I get closer and closer to the answers, they disappear and reappear out of my reach once again. What's happening...?
1. Meetings

**Torn**

_A collection of Sora-centric one shots_

**Author's Notes:** Oh yes, I am back again. I've been wanting to do something like this for a while, a collection of one shots focused one hundred percent on Sora, but I didn't have any sort of inspiration.

I'll be including stuff that happened in the anime, but it'll mostly focus on his past. From what I've seen, it started off happily until Aizawa came into the picture, so I'm taking that and running away with it like someone holding a kite.

There will be a sort of underlying story, but for the most part, I don't think most of the one shots will be directly connected to each other. We'll just have to see, eh?

The inspiration for this was Seabound's song entitled "Torn". I dunno about anyone else, but it just screams "Sora!" to me.

So, without further rambling...

-x-

-One-

_Meetings_

_He was lucky to have someone who cared about him so much, someone willing to take him in after what happened to his parents. Along came someone from a place he does not want to remember. Oh, the beginnings of friendship._

-x-

What more could anyone ever ask for?

Sora didn't really remember his parents much; to him, they disappeared a long time ago. No one was ever straight with what happened to them, and he decided it didn't really matter - Nanami and Shinichiro were probably the best surrogate parents he had. He thought he was lucky to have two people who cared that much about him to take him in after what he assumed was a tragic accident that left him an orphan. Nanami was a close friend of his mother's, or that was what he was told.

"Are you _sure_ it's okay for me to stay with you?" Sora had asked Nanami for the billionth time that night, as Shinichiro carted Sora's luggage into the spare bedroom. Nanami chuckled and knelt down in front of him.

"For the last time, Sora-kun, it's okay. You don't have to worry anymore." He patted Sora's shoulder reassuringly, and stood as Shinichiro came back to the entrance hall.

"Sora's still asking about it?" Shinichiro asked as he placed his hands on his hips.

Nanami nodded. "Yes, but I think he's done asking now."

Shinichiro grinned. "Well then, Sora, you can get settled into your room. It's kind of late, so you can unpack tomorrow if you want."

Sora nodded. "Good night, Nanami-chan."

Shinichiro crossed his arms. "Hey, Sora, what about me?" Sora laughed.

"Good night, nii-chan."

'Nii-chan' ruffled Sora's hair and sent him off to bed.

The clock in the living room struck ten. It really was getting late.

-x-

Sora didn't remember the exact date when Sunao Fujimori entered his life, but he figured it was shortly after he was "adopted" by Nanami. It was a coincidental meeting, really. They both knew Matsuri (though Sora never quite figured out just _how_ Sunao knew him), and Sunao, who was new to their school, ended up in his class. Sora swore he had seen Sunao before, though he couldn't really explain why he felt that way.

"Fujimori-kun, please introduce yourself to the class."

Fujimori looked so calm and collected up there, though little did Sora know that underneath that mask, Fujimori was nervous, yet excited.

"Don't be shy," the teacher pressed when Fujimori kept to the wall adjacent to the door.

There were whispers amongst the children in the room, but Fujimori ignored them all as he strode over to the teacher, fingers grasping his backpack straps.

"I'm Fujimori Sunao," the boy said as he stared into the small crowd of children. "I just moved here last week. It's nice to meet all of you." He bowed, his eyes facing the floor.

No one said a word; Sora wasn't paying much attention to the new kid - it wasn't uncommon for a lot of kids to enter into his class - and instead imagined what he could be doing in the sunshine outside.

"...next to Hashiba-kun and Honjou-kun."

Sora snapped to attention when he heard his name called, and saw the new student walk slowly towards the back of the room - the only place with an empty seat. Matsuri pointed to the seat next to him and smiled at Sunao, but Sora did nothing to acknowledge his presence. He figured that Sunao was just another kid in his class, and he would probably never have to talk to him ever.

Sora was wrong, of course, when Sunao showed up at their door.

"Sora-kun," Nanami said in a sort of sing-song way, "Shinichiro, we have company."

Shinichiro stuck his head out of the doorway, a wash cloth in his hand; Sora's head peeked over the door jamb of the kitchen, holding a plate.

"I don't remember you saying we were having people over," Shinichiro remarked, moving so he was fully visible in the doorway, the rag now in his pants pocket. "What's the big idea, Nanami?"

Nanami had closed the door behind their guest, and made his way over to the living room where he sat their guest down.

"I told Sora to mention it to you," Nanami said as he walked from the living room to the kitchen.

Shinichiro glanced over to Sora, who was still by the door clutching the dishware.

"Nii-chan, we're having guests over," Sora said sheepishly, his face hidden behind the plate. Shinichiro said nothing, he just went back to the kitchen to help with dinner, playfully hitting Sora with the rag as he passed by.

-x-

"Sora-kun, I hope you don't mind sharing your room."

Sora said nothing as the pink haired boy entered the room, his arms filled with his belongings, which he dumped on his bed.

Staring at his new roommate, Sora watched Fujimori with interest as he tested the bed out. It squeaked a bit when he moved, but he thought it was comfortable - better than the beds at the orphanage, at any rate.

"Do I have something on my face?" the pink haired boy asked, sitting up. "You're staring at me."

Sora turned away immediately and instead focused on the ceiling. He crossed his legs at the ankles and rested his head on his arms, trying to act as casual as he could before he said what was on his mind.

"You seem to follow me everywhere," Sora said at last. "First school and now here. Where else are you going to follow me to?"

Sunao unzipped his bag and removed his pajamas from it before unceremoniously dropping his lone piece of luggage on the floor. Sora winced from the thud the bag caused, and figured Sunao was somehow angry with him.

"You don't seem to remember me," Sunao said after the awkward pause as he pulled off his t-shirt.

"Am I supposed to remember you?" Sora replied, looking over to Sunao once more. "Though I have to say you _do_ look familiar."

Sunao raked his fingers through his hair, the pajama shirt half buttoned up, his sleep pants half on. Sunao looked quite disheveled, as if he wasn't thinking clearly.

"Don't you remember me? From the orphanage?"

Sunao expected him to remember the orphanage? He wasn't there for very long, only for about a week, maybe two at the most... Sora didn't really remember how long he was there, since it seemed like forever to him, and it seemed like forever ago.

"Yes," Sora said at last. "I do. I do remember."

The bedside lamp made a clicking noise, and the room was plunged into darkness.

-x-

**Author's Notes:** So how was it? Feedback is welcome and appreciated, of course. I just figured that Sora's past before Aizawa got involved would be interesting to write about, and so I did. I want to explore a lot of things with this collection, things that I haven't seen explored, so I think this will be a good experiment of sorts.

See you next chapter!


	2. Possession

**Torn**

_A Collection of Sora-centric One Shots_

**-**Two-

_Possession_

_He was scared enough to have a feeling he did not find familiar, as if he were shut up inside his own mind. It's another thing to find out that there's something else, someone else, inside it. And he had no idea where he came from._

-x-

He had never felt so...not himself, like he wasn't really him, but someone else instead. He didn't know if it was right to ask about it - he didn't want Aizawa to punish him again...

He saw the door open and Nao enter, his head wrapped in a mess of gauze, his face devoid of emotion and his eyes blank as he stumbled into the room. The door to their stone-walled "room" creaked closed and the lock clicked, plunging the room into almost complete darkness - the single window high up on the wall opposite the door shed moonlight on the floor.

"Nao?" Sora asked, struggling to his feet. He received no response as Nao stood in the middle of the room, his eyes fixed upon nothing in particular. Sora closed the distance between them and placed his hands on Nao's shoulders. He shook him, but nothing jolted Nao out of his catatonia, not even yelling at him. Suddenly, Sora was filled with an unknown feeling - something he had never felt before - and he pulled back a hand and slapped Nao across the face. Brought back down to Hell on Earth, Nao blinked and came to his senses.

"K-Kuu-chan?" Nao asked, his cheek stinging and reddening from the harsh contact.

"I'm not 'kuu-chan'," Sora heard himself say, and was frightened when it sounded so...unlike him. He could not see Nao's face clearly anymore - it was if trying to see one's hand in a dense fog.

"K-Kuu...?"

Sora felt his arms wrap around a trembling form, and something wet seeped through the almost-threadbare night shirt he was wearing. He could not find his own voice, only this "other" person's, so there was no way to tell Nao that something was wrong with him, that someone or something was controlling his words and actions. It was as if he was possessed.

"My name is Yoru," Sora heard himself voice.

"Y-Yoru?" Nao asked, and thought Sora couldn't see it, Nao looked up at him, confusion written on his face.

"Yes," the entity replied. "Yoru." He smiled and squeezed Nao's shoulders comfortingly, reassuringly. Nao blinked and stared at him for a few moments more, morbid facination on his face.

"Your eye...," Nao said at last. "It's...glowing gold."

Pressing Sunao into his arms more, Yoru replied, "That doesn't matter now. What's important now is _you_. Are you all right, Sunao?"

The boy sniffled. "I can't take it anymore, Kuu-chan. I want this all to stop."

Yoru ran a hand through Sunao's hair. "Don't worry, Sunao...I can make it all better."

_What are you going to do to Nao?!_ Sora asked, though his question never left his thoughts and instead reverberated through his mind. _And who are you?!_

Yoru sat Sunao down and whispered soothing things into his ear.

'I'm going to help him,' Yoru answered. 'I'm going to help him cope with the tortorous things Aizawa is making him endure. I'll make sure he won't feel anymore pain.'

Sora wasn't satisfied with such an answer. _He_ was the one who comforted Nao, not this...entity who just appeared out of nowhere and invaded his mind.

'As for who I am...I am your alter, Sora. You wanted to escape, and I can help you. Sunao wants the same release as you, and so I will help him achieve this. Leave everything to me.'

When Sora resumed control of his own body, which felt as though his head was firmly attached once again to his neck, Nao was fast asleep in his arms, and Sora had no memory of what had just conspired.

_I will make sure you feel no more pain_, Sora heard resound in his head, and though it wasn't his own voice, Sora did not seem as perturbed by it as he should have been.


	3. Fall

**Torn**

-Three-

_Fall_

_There was no where to go - the stairs were not an option and Aizawa was right in front of him. Sora didn't have to make a choice, though; in the process of escaping, Sora was given a chance to live a normal life free from pesky memories of the past._

-x-

He had to escape, he had to run.

Half out of breath and with a stitch in his side, Sora stopped at the fourth floor of the tower of the academy. There was no way he could run anymore, his leg muscles were threatening to explode from overexertion. He had been followed for a long time - an hour or so, he guessed. The footsteps, however, did not cease, but instead kept coming closer and closer as they echoed off the walls. Sora backed up against the stained glass window, blocking the purple-coloured light that filtered through, attempting to get away from the source of the footfalls.

The footfalls were cut short as a dark green haired youth about his age stopped mere feet away from him, a manilla file folder in his hand. He wasn't the one Sora was trying to run away from, rather, it was the man behind the one in front of him that followed him. The one holding the manilla folder stepped aside, as if wishing to continue on his way to the top, for he had some sort of business to attend to.

"I've forgotten about how fast you could run," the man said, adjusting his glasses. "But it all ends here, Hashiba Sora."

Looking from the next flight of stairs to the man in front of him to the youth to the side of the man, he tried to think of a plan for escaping. It was fruitless, though, to go any further up, and the only way down aside from the window was the stairs, and they were blocked.

"Don't come any closer," Sora threatened, and he heard a laugh erupt from the man. He looked identical to the folder-holding boy except he was taller and his features were contorted into a sick grin.

"Or you'll do what?" the man asked. "You have no where to run and no one to call on for help. Nagase isn't going to help you escape this time, Sora."

Nagase clearly looked uncomfortable, and shoved past his father to the next floor. Clearly, he did not want to share the responsibility of trying to capture Sora - not that time.

"If you come quietly, I won't punish you as hard as I would otherwise." The man laughed manically and crossed his arms. "Come now, Hashiba. Don't make this any harder then it has to."

Aizawa lunged towards him, all the while Sora's thoughts were filled with cries for help that he thought no one would answer, could answer.

_...Help me...Yoru..._ He didn't even realise he called for his alter's help until, inside his mind, Yoru answered.

'Don't worry, Sora, I'll handle this.'

The last thing he remembered was hearing glass shatter, what felt like falling, and then before he could contemplate any of what had happened, he was jolted awake in a hospital room with no recollection of how he got there, Nanami's and Shinichiro's concerned faces staring down at him.


	4. Parasuicide by Regret

**Torn**

-Four-

_Parasuicide by Regret_

_He had to do this as a penance, he thought, for leaving Ran behind him. But it wasn't just him that was paying, but Sora as well. _

-x-

He hadn't meant to let go.

Nao had stumbled, and he with him, and he swore he wouldn't abandon him, wouldn't let go. Yet, as Shinichiro hoisted him over his shoulder, his hand had slipped from Nao's; Aizawa's figured loomed over Nao with his usual sadistic grin plastered on his face. He remembered his and Nao's screams, the cries of, "Kuu-chan!" and "Don't leave me!" echoed in his ears like a haunting melody that would never cease... The frantic running as the sirens whined and the lights flashed to signal they had escaped their cells... The look on Nanami's face as he tried to unlock the door as quick as his fingers would allow him...

The ceiling of his room slowly materialised before him as the memories became semi-transparent in his mind, his body still as they played over and over like a movie on loop forever. Sora tried to push them away, to come back to the present, to stop reliving the haunting memories, but he couldn't, no matter how hard he tried to; he flung his pillow over his face, tears staining the fabric as he screamed, though it was muffled by the cotton-stuffed object. He could not take the pain his heart had endured for so long any more.

_Make it go away... Make it all disappear... Make it stop..._

Though it was probably all just in his mind, he thought he saw Yoru standing over him, his knuckles caressing his cheek tenderly, comfortingly, like a mother comforting a child waking from a nightmare.

'It's okay, Sora,' Yoru said softly, 'I'll make them go away for you.'

The voice echoed in his mind as all faded to black, presumably because Yoru had taken over.

-x-

At first it hurt as the blade sliced into his wrist, blood pooling to the surface, some spilling to the floor as it overflowed. He knew that Sora would, once he retreated back from his mind, know what he did, possibly even hate him for a while for doing it. But he needed to feel the pain Sunao felt when he abandoned him, pain for leaving Ran behind...a sort of 'penance' for letting go of his hand, for letting Aizawa take control of Sora's mind for a split second...

He cut deeper, drawing more blood, hissing from the stinging he felt, the tingling of his bleeding limb. Two marks, two crimson coloured slashes, and he paused before making a third. In that research facility, Ran was probably suffering for him as well, and so Yoru felt he had to feel what Ran was feeling - such intense, blinding pain that brought blood to the surface. Yoru was surprised Sora hadn't taken back control, hadn't scolded him for his actions. Perhaps Yoru could pass it off as an accident and hide the real memory behind a locked door.

The light in the hallway turned on and filtered through the bottom crack of the door, after a nearby door had closed, light footsteps slowly making their way in the direction of Sora's room. Another gash in his arm, which was now a bloodied mess, and Yoru felt just a bit lightheaded. He hadn't realised there was blood dripping from his arm to his leg and then to the floor, and the knock on the door nearly made Yoru cut too deep and sever something. His intent was to hurt and bleed, not to kill himself - rather, Sora.

"Sora-kun, is everything okay?" It was Nanami. He probably heard his rummaging around for a suitable tool for which to bleed with. Yoru didn't answer - Nanami would know right away that he wasn't Sora, but his alter; they still were not used to his presence yet.

"Sora-kun?" He knocked again, and Yoru shrunk further into the corner, as if trying to blend in with the wall, or disappear through it.

The door opened, the lights flickered on, and Nanami stood there, eyes wide open, at the scene before him: there was Yoru in the corner, the sleeve of Sora's pajama shirt pulled up; a bloodied knife held in his left hand was by his side; a pool of blood had formed underneath his right hand, which was also resting against the carpeted floor.

"...Sora?"

Yoru could not meet his gaze. He felt so guilty for causing such a mess, both to Sora's body and for Ran's predicament.

"I'm not Sora," Yoru whispered at last as Nanami stood there in bewilderment. "Sora is sleeping and quite oblivious - he will not know of what I did."

Nanami struggled to keep calm, and instead settled for running out of the room to get Shinichiro.

When Nanami came back, a half-asleep Shinichiro at his side, Sora had his mutilated arm up to his face, as if he could not believe what he was seeing. He looked from his wrist to Nanami as if his mind couldn't register what was going on currently, his mind clouded in fog.

"Nanami-chan..." His arm fell to his lap, blood still pumping from it as his head rested against the wall. "...What's happening to me...?"

Sora, who should have been used to waking up in a place without knowing how he got there, looked at the whitewashed walls and ceiling, his location not registering. He looked down at his arm and saw white gauze wrapped around it, a tinge of red showing through the bandages.

'I'm sorry, Sora,' Yoru said. 'I never meant to get you involved.'

"...doesn't have a history of parasuicidal behaviours?"

Sora knew the doctor was talking about him.

"N-No...he's never acted like this before," he heard Nanami say. Sora pictured him wringing his hands and half worried to death.

"You can't blame him, though," Shinichiro said. "Sora's been through a lot."

"But he could have come to _me_ instead of doing something so..." There was a faint sigh of exasperation.

"You said it wasn't Sora, though, Nanami. You said it was Yoru."

Sora glared at the wall and shifted in the bed.

_What difference does it make?_ Sora thought. _We're the same _person. _His regrets are my regrets, and his 'parasuicide' is _my_ parasuicide._

-x-

**Author's Notes:** Just to explain...

No, Yoru isn't a cutter. _However_, in the drama CD, Yoru once attempted suicide because of what happened to Ran and Sunao. He stopped because it wasn't just him that he was hurting, but Sora as well. Instead, he got some really nasty scars from the incident, which he kept covered with a bandage. That's why Yoru wears a whole mess of gauze over his right wrist.


	5. Awkward Seduction

**Torn**

-Five-

_Awkward Seduction_

_They did this every night without the knowledge of their 'owners', and not once had they been interrupted. If only Yoru had realised how awkward it would be for Sora to emerge at the most inappropriate time of the night._

-x-

"Y-Yoru..."

Yoru reveled in Ran's pants and whisperings of his name as his fingertips danced across his skin. Brushing his lips ever so lightly across Ran's, he teased them with licks, bites, and gentle pulling as he pushed Ran down onto the bed - Sora's bed - to continue with their "nightly ritual". Yoru nipped at the skin just under Ran's ear, his hand undoing the buttons on Ran's nightshirt, his knee parting Ran's legs. Yoru smirked at Ran's reaction to his sucking at the supple flesh of his neck - he would leave a mark that Sunao would smack Sora for later.

Holding Ran's wrists together, he held them against the headboard as he took his place between Ran's legs, and even though they had done this many times before (without Sunao's and Sora's knowing, of course), Ran blushed when Yoru tugged off his pants, boxers along with them.

Or rather, he was in the process of doing so when both Sunao came back, and Yoru could tell he was no longer teasing Ran because his eyes were no longer red, but pink. Startled, Yoru disappeared and left Sora to deal with a mess he didn't start.

Sora, who blinked a few times, looked at the position they were in: his right hand was securing Fujimori's wrists, his other hand had the waistband of Fujimori's pants grasped firmly and half off; Fujimori's one leg was hooked behind one of Sora's, the other flat against the sheets of the bed. Fujimori blushed and wrenched his hands from Sora's grip as Sora backed away in horror, his eyes wide and mouth agape. Any signs of wanting sex had vanished from his mind as he nearly fell off his bed.

"_What was Yoru about to do to you_?" Sora shrieked, arms over his head as if trying to hide from the answer.

"Pervert," Fujimori scoffed, eyes narrowing as he slid from the bed.

"_I'm_ not the pervert," Sora protested from the edge of his bed, trying to keep a good distance away. "_Yoru's_ the one responsible!"

Crossing his arms, Sora fell off of his bed after he was hit square in the face with a well aimed pillow.

"Tell him to behave himself or I _swear_, Hashiba, I will kick you out of here," Fujimori said, laying down on his bed to try to get some sleep.

"Tch," Sora scoffed from his place on the floor, sitting up on his elbow, fingers caressing the spot where his head met the floor. "First of all, this is _my_ room - you came here way after I did - and _second_ of all, Ran probably seduced him like he tried to do that one time _to me_," Sora emphasised the last part, shifting so he was now on his knees, arms clutching to the top of the mattress.

If Fujimori had any more pillows, Sora knew they would have been hurled at his head.

"And what the hell is this doing on my neck?!"

Sora, who had just resumed his position on his bed, used Toshizou as a shield from Fujimori's slipper. Peering over the pink elephant's body to see if it was safe, Sora said, "What's _what_ doing on your neck?"

Fujimori pulled the collar of his shirt away from his neck and pointed to the dark red mark.

"It looks like a..." Sora turned pale and tried to think of all the possible hiding places and bomb shelters in the Tokyo bay area. "...A hickey."

Bolting for the door, Sora ran as fast as he could down the hallway of the dormitories, Fujimori hot on his heels.


	6. Torture

**Torn**

-Six-

_Torture_

_It had been months now, and no one had come to rescue them. Sora was noticing some disturbing changes, and as he endures the constant pain Aizawa inflicts, he realises that he could have died long ago, but he couldn't because there's someone who needs him still. And Sora will make sure they pay for hurting them._

-x-

"Get back up you worthless excuse for a child!"

The whip came down hard on his back, causing him to scream in pain as the leather cord broke skin, welts forming in its wake.

"_Up_."

On hands and knees he panted, trying to ignore the pain searing across his backside, but it was so hard to. He wanted Aizawa to stop for the day, to let him be back with Nao again, to let him retreat into his head, away from the hellish reality of which he was forced to live in. If only he could convince his mind to think that the torture was happening to someone else...

Sora managed to somehow stand, even though his knees were so wobbly from the pain that he almost fell again. Aizawa handed the whip to one of his laboratory assistants and began his next. Taking out a cigarette and a light, he lit it, enjoying the smoke emitting from the end and the pungent odour that filled the room. Sora winced and tried to pull away when Aizawa took his arm forcefully into his hand, but Aizawa's grip was as tight as a vice; Sora could see his veins beginning to bulge out from underneath the pale skin of his limb.

"Open your hand," the bespectacled man said, his voice quiet and calm, yet commanding and authoritative at the same time. Sora shook his head.

"Open your hand or _lose it_, Number Zero Three," Aizawa said, and when Sora acquienced, "Good boy."

Sora's eyes widened to their limits, his throat raw from previous beatings as he shrieked from the searing nerves that were burned from the cigarette. Aizawa ground the smoke into the redded flesh, his face filled with delight as Sora merely wheezed, unable to scream any more.

"That will be all for now," Aizawa said, pushing him into his assistant's arms. "Take him back to his room. I'll take the other one next."

As he was shoved through the door, Sora heard Aizawa say, "I will break his will eventually - it won't last forever - and...I will persevere with the personality alteration..."

Sora could not manage to walk very far before his legs gave out, his hand numb with pain and his back bloodied and scarred. The assistant roughly grabbed Sora's hand, who winced, and dragged him along the tiled floor and back to the room Sora hated, the steel door dented from the many times he pounded on it, screaming to be let out...

The door opened and he was thrown in there; he heard Nao's screams as the assistant forced him out the door, slamming it behind him. It wasn't fair...what did they do to deserve a fate like this?

Sora would have, in fact, let Aizawa's torturings kill him long ago if he didn't have Nao to look after. He had to be strong and hope that someone would save them. Perhaps at that moment, Nanami and Shinichiro were trying to get them out... It was a long stretch, but neither of them would be able to live if there wasn't any hope.

He had been there for months now. Was he destined to be there forever, to be Aizawa's puppet? He was a delinquent yes, but what child wasn't, especially if they were forced to endure such damaging procedures...

His head was beginning to hurt - it was doing that a lot lately. Sora had noticed that sometimes, during experiments, his eye would change to a yellowish-brown, almost like a gold. The only reason he noticed was because Aizawa had once made a comment about it, and that freak grinned like a cheshire cat whenever it happened. Sora could not find an explanation for why these changes were happening except for Aizawa's countless procedures, tortures, and viles of strange coloured liquids.

Nao came back an hour later, his hair sopping wet, body shivering as the door slammed shut once more, leaving them alone.

"Nao..." Sora extended his arms and Nao fell into them, his shoulders shaking with sobs. Sora threaded his fingers through the sodden pink hair, his eyes staring blankly at the door.

A voice Sora recognised as not his own said, "Don't worry, Nao, I'll make sure they pay."

Nao jumped slightly, but when he saw that it was only Sora, he buried his head more into Sora's chest.

_They will pay and I will make sure that Aizawa gets what he deserves_.


	7. Losing the Self

**Torn**

-Seven-

_Losing the Self_

_What if I'm losing myself? What if Yoru doesn't go away next time? What would happen to me then? I can't say I'm losing myself, because I don't know what my "self" is except that it's fractured in two._

-x-

Hashiba Sora was said to be a boy who never feared anything, except for the occasional ghost or spark of flame. But there was one thing he feared that no one knew.

He was afraid he was losing himself.

Sora thought he knew himself pretty well, but in the advent of Fujimori telling him there was "another Sora" inside of him, another person that he couldn't control or remember. And one question continued to plague him night after night, usually after Yoru would give up possession of him for the night.

_What if Yoru _doesn't_ go away next time?_ He feared Yoru taking possession of him and never letting him go again, sort of as a "revenge" for keeping him locked up in his mind for so long. It wasn't Sora's fault his memories were lost in the fall from the window.

Sora leaned against his bed frame - _How did I wind up on the floor_? he wondered - and tried to catch his breath. This was the third night in a row that Yoru did this to him, the third night in a row where Yoru made him question who he was.

Fujimori wasn't around; he was off with Matsuri somewhere, probably doing something related to the Jack-of-All-Trades Academy "business" Matsuri set up. He was the only one who could possibly understand what Sora was going through because of Ran.

_I wish I could say I was losing myself, but...I'm not sure what my "self" is, aside from "fractured"._


	8. Memories Locked Away

**Torn**

-Eight-

_Memories Locked Away_

_Why can't I remember anything about my past? And every time I get closer and closer to the answers, they disappear and reappear out of my reach once again. What's happening...?_

-x-

_Why can't I remember anything?_  
It bothered him to no end how familiar faces, names on the tip of his tongue, vanished into thin air before he could grab proper hold of them - like the images that came before dreams set in.

To awake in a hospital bed with only the knowledge of his name had scared both him and his surrogate 'parents'. He knew there was _something_ there - but what? Nanami had clutched his hand tightly, his eyes wide and filled with hurt when Sora muttered, "Who are you?" upon waking. And now here he was with a vague recollection of what happened, his mind buzzing with all sorts of images - fuzzy though they may have been - of just what landed him in the hospital.

The running. The window. The fall. The pain. He absentmindedly touched the bandaged shoulder, injured in his fall, and winced as the pain shot all through his arm, all along his back. There were voices in the background... They sounded as if they were trying to explain something, trying to reason...

"Amnesia after a traumatic accident is quite common," a deep, professional sounding voice said, and Sora could almost picture the man fixing what could have been imaginary glasses. "It might take him a while to regain his entire memory, so be patient with him."  
The door slid open then, and Sora feigned sleep. He wasn't in the mood to hear the doctor's explanation of why he had forgotten everything about himself.

"Nanami, perhaps you should return to the school..." Sora recognised the voice, but couldn't exactly place the name right away.  
_Nii-chan...?_  
"Shinichiro..."

"Go on - the Academy needs their nurse. I'll watch and see if he wakes up soon, all right?"  
Sora opened one eye a little. Nanami did not looked convinced.  
"It would be better if I were here--"  
Shinichiro laughed. "You're such a mother hen, Nanami. Sora will be _fine_. Besides, I'll be watching him sleep; no one'll be able to hurt him then."  
"... Fine. Let me know when he wakes up, all right?"

Sora didn't know when he had fallen asleep again, just that he did.

_"Don't come any closer," a voice cried. There was a person silhouetted against a stain-glass window, with someone approaching him from the stairs. The other person decided to not heed his warning and instead kept coming, his footfalls reverberating off the empty corridor walls. The boy looked so familiar to him... His back was up against the window, his eyes filled with fear twined with anger, anger for a transgression he had committed to him in the past._

"Call him out," the older male said, his voice calm, almost deadpan, as he stopped. "He is the only one who could possibly save you."  
And then something went terribly awry. Well, to the casual onlooker, something went awry, like the boy had suddenly lost his mind; but the truth was that there was something deeper...  
"I won't let you hurt him any longer," the boy said, his voice deeper than it originally was, his expression shifting into a look of utter loathing.  
The other laughed. "And just what do you plan on doing, Yoru? There's no escape."

The boy named Yoru smirked and braced his shoulder against the window.  
"Then I'll _**make **__one."  
He crashed into the window, shattering the coloured window, and jumped out of it._

Sora jolted out of his sleep, out of the nightmare, nearly screaming as he clutched at his shoulder, as if it were about to be ripped off. Shinichiro, in the middle of making lesson plans, nearly had a heart attack at the sudden commotion, and looked up in alarm.  
"Sora? Are you all right, Sora?"  
The pain from the nightmare ceased and he realised where he was. The white walls, the concerned look on Shinichiro's face...

"...Nii-chan...?"

Sora didn't remember what he had dreamed that was so horrific. It was like a hand had batted it away, locked it in a place where no one would be able to find it...__

And every time I get closer and closer to the answers, they disappear, only to reappear out of reach. There's something preventing me from knowing the answer.


End file.
